Do you ever....

Do you ever get to a point where you know you have to get things done, but can't make yourself do it? AKA lack of motivation? Yeah...that's what I've got.

I've got several projects due before the end of the semester, and I can't focus on getting them done. I've been going to school for so long that I think I'm just burned out and don't know how to move through it. I kind of just want to curl up on my couch with a warm blanket and watch a movie. Or Bones. Probably Bones.

Anywho, that's all for now.

Unfounded Discrimination

I had quite the experience last night at a ward function. I'll share what I can with you...

I went to ward prayer, a fairly normal evening activity for single Latter Day Saints. Because of all the boundary changes that have been happening lately, I am still meeting new people on a regular basis. There was a person I didn't know sitting next to one of my friends (T.), and he overheard me telling T. that I am from Riverton. Immediately he had a disgusted look on his face and a haughty tone in his voice as he said, "Oh." Puzzled, I asked where he was from, and he proudly told me that he was from West Jordan, and attended West Jordan High School.

Last time I was in school, I was unaware that there was a big rivalry between Riverton and West Jordan. I had always been under the impression that our big rivals were Bingham, Copper Hills, and Alta. AND...the fact that it still bothered him now that we are both in college seemed slightly ridiculous.

Just wait, it gets better...



Through more discussion with T. and other people at this function, it came out that I'm a member of the Aggie Marching Band. This person matter-of-factly told me that he hated me. Again, puzzled, I asked why he could already hate someone he had just barely met.

It wasn't the color of my skin, it wasn't my sexual orientation, it wasn't my religion, it wasn't my political stance. He hates me for the sole reason that I am a member of the Aggie Marching Band.



I asked him what in the world he had against the band, and he promptly explained that he is one of the people who takes care of the football fields, and that we constantly tear holes in them. Reflecting on my marching band experience at Utah State, I informed him that we rehearse on a parking lot outside of the stadium, and therefore could not possibly be committing the crime that he accused us of. He said very quickly, "Not on Friday". Friday was our dress rehearsal, if you will. We had been allowed ONE DAY to march on something besides asphalt before our performance for the homecoming game. When I tried to explain this, he interjected with even more hatred that he also hated that we march in the same spots for every pregame and half time show, and that he gets "chewed out" because of us.



Needless to say, I wanted nothing more to do with this person who had so rudely expressed his contempt for someone he had just met for two ridiculous reasons - where I attended high school and the organization that I am proud to be a member of.



As I was reflecting on this, I remembered many students being shocked to learn that USU actually had a marching band. I also remembered some things I have learned over the years about the athletics program here - such as the fact that my tuition and student fees are being used to feed, transport, house, and "educate" the athletes of this institution. In thinking of this, I remembered that I had to fight to get a single dollar of student fees to go toward the marching band fund so that we could function and so we could get new instruments and uniforms. When I was a freshman, we wore uniforms that had been purchased in the 1980's that were falling apart and smelled like a nursing home, and had instruments that were in just as bad, if not worse shape.

Something is wrong with this picture.



I wanted to take a moment and express that I am proud to be from Riverton, UT, and I am also VERY proud to be a member of the Aggie Marching Band. Being a member of that organization has taught me more than any other class I have taken on this campus about how to deal with people, solve problems, and discipline myself to become better. I have also met some of my dearest and closest friends, had invaluable leadership opportunities, and more because of this group that many people don't realize exists.

To those who have never experienced the comradery and satisfaction that comes from being a part of a musical organization, I am so sorry. You have missed out on more than you will ever know.

To those who are still stuck in high school rivalries now that you are a returned missionary and employed by a university, I am also sorry. I hope that one day you can move beyond that.

To those who tell someone you hate them before you even learn their name, I am the most sorry. Soon you will be friendless, lonely, and will continue to be ignorant and uneducated when it comes to things that really matter.

That is all for now.

Meaningless Musings

It's been a while, so I thought I should play a little bit of catch-up...

August: Much of August was spent with family, friends, and paint. Yep, you heard right. I went on a few weekend trips with some friends of mine over the summer (and had a blast) up to Bear Lake, and also went on a week-long vacation with my family out to Midway and areas surrounding it. It is absolutely beautiful, and I have convinced myself that I will live there someday. Small town in the middle of a gorgeous canyon. Ah, amazing! When I got home from that trip, I spent time with my mom at my place in Logan packing boxes, repainting some walls, scrubbing anything I could, and trying yet again to get this place to sell. I also started band camp for my last time here at Utah State. There were some mixed feelings that came with this - I'm glad I'm nearing the end, but I've been doing it for so long it will be weird to not come back to it.



September: I spent a little bit more quality time painting a few doors and other things, and my mom came and spent a weekend with me while she was doing respite care for a couple of autistic boys from Tremonton. I won't go into detail about that here, but it was quite an experience - one I would rather not repeat. A couple of my friends helped me move furniture back after we got NEW CARPET ( :) ) and one of my Brian friends helped with some general maintenance and putting things back together. I began to find that this year's drumline (and band as a whole, for that matter) was harder to handle than those we had had in the past - plus school and work were not quite balancing out the way I had hoped for them to. I began prepping for my senior recital, which is scheduled for November 13th. I also attended a toga party for my KKY brothers and helped with a TBS carwash. :)









October: Of course, it's the best month ever. :) Conference weekend was great - I really enjoyed so much of what was said! It was refreshing. And, of course, the Argentine food added to that fantastic weekend. The next weekend was my birthday, which I also celebrated with my family. It was nice to get away from Logan for a while and sort out a lot of things that were floating in my head, kind of away from the site. I found out, though, that the University never assigned me an accompanist for my recital...So I have been trying to find another, with little to no success. I'm not quite sure how this will all work out, but I hope to make it so...

I really should be practicing or doing homework, but I'm just passing time for right now - one of my friends is meeting me here in a few minutes to go for ice cream. :)

Last week a couple of the girls in Tau Beta Sigma (and Mike from Kappa Kappa Psi) helped Dr. Rohrer's wife with a project out at an elementary school. During our lunch break we discovered a room with toys in it...so we of course took some photos... :P











I learned how to drive a stick shift today! It was a little rough, but my friend Ryan said that I was doing exceptionally well. Even though I killed it a lot... You know me, the perfectionist... Maybe I'll get some more practice when I move back to Salt Lake and can borrow Steven's little truck.

I don't really know what else to write about, so that is all for now.

Freshmen are funny

So I work for Utah State as a peer advisor/ambassador for the College of Humanities and Social Sciences, as well as the Caine College of the Arts. I often sit at the marching band booth during the lunch time/browse the booth time, and the freshmen are interesting. They're either overly confident or... or something. One person came up to me and said, "We need to have a conversation. So I'm pretty much an amazing percussionist. I got 1's in all of these competitions and stuff. The thing is - I don't read music. I learn by hearing. Is there a band for me?"..... Really?!?!

Anyway...That is my rant for now. Time to go!

It's been a while....

I'm now realizing how long ago December really was...So maybe I should write or something. :P Spring semester was a long one. I came to many realizations and have learned a lot of things. I have also made many new friends since December, for which I am grateful for.

In December I will be leaving Logan to live in Salt Lake, where I will be doing my student teaching and interning for music therapy. Not at the same time. I am capable of not completely over booking myself. Some days. The fact that I will be leaving Logan is a sad one but also a happy one. I have loved living here. I love the small town atmosphere, adore the people here, and almost everything about it. I have made memories here that I will never forget. I am glad, though, to be moving in a new direction. It's weird to say, but I feel like I was supposed to be in Logan for the amount of time I've been here, and now I feel as though I have finished (or nearly finished) what I needed to accomplish here. There are great adventures waiting for me elsewhere, and I am thrilled to experience them. I'll also be thrilled to be close to my family members again. I feel like I've missed a lot being away, and it saddens me when I miss big events like baby blessings, weddings, and mission farewells/homecomings, and it makes me sad to even miss the small things, like monthly birthday parties, where I can spend time with my grandparents and cousins. So, as you can see, I am torn but glad all at once. I am also glad to meet new friends. It will be scary, but exciting all at once.

I have also been really thinking of what I will be doing as a professional. I finally had the opportunity to re-take a class this semester for my music therapy degree, and to take a couple of those last few courses, and they honestly overwhelmed me. It made me ponder the reasons I had initially felt that it was important for me to be in that program, and why I am now also an education major. A lot of what I've been leaning toward is working in the schools, mainly as a teacher, maybe an advisor/administrator over the music program of a school, and/or an advocate working to push for funding to keep the arts in the schools in our country. As I have been watching the education world fall apart around me due to budget cuts and removal of the wrong programs and the promotion of others that are not necessarily educational or helpful to our students in any way, it has frustrated me to no end. So much so, that I have wanted to begin research on how to change this and to make a change. I hope that I can be an effective advocate for change.

I have recently gotten a new calling in my stake - I'm now the stake music chairman. AKA, my old calling on steroids. I am slightly overwhelmed, but at the same time have a lot of ideas and am really excited to begin putting them into action. I hope that I can do the things that Heavenly Father would have me do concerning our stake - to help them and myself grow. That's what it's all about, isn't it? To continually grow?

That is all for now. I will try and be better at keeping you all updated...the few of you who follow this, that is. I'll try and fill in details when I can as well. Have a wonderful day!